What's happiness?

Is it the state of bliss you feel inside? Or is it just you being happy on the outside? I'm sad, and that's that. I, for one, hate my father, and I really wish he hadn't existed. I think what I'm feeling isn't happiness, but frightened, scared, angry and depressed. This isn't happiness. I always told myself to be strong, but when I'm alone, I always feel scared, and unknowingly I would burst into tears. I wish I could tell someone, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't let anyone see my soft side. I never would...